Coming Home
by onlyfrackingsuperheroes
Summary: She couldn't stand it anymore. She knew she loved Chuck at one point, and she knew the pain that she was experiencing without him. She needed to find him.


To Sarah Walker, it started out as if Beckman was only assigning her on foreign ops. After a string of domestic ops, Sarah was sent to Paris, London, Prague, Moscow. It wasn't until her second visit to Paris that she realized the alternative motive behind these trips.

She knew that Beckman approved of her previous relationship with Chuck, but she never would've guessed that the woman wanted Sarah to return to Chuck. Sarah realized that Beckman was sending her on these missions to try to spark memories. She knew from her video diaries that she had been on missions to all of these cities with Chuck. As of now, Beckman's goal was failing: none of these cities were bringing back any memories for Sarah.

It was a year and a half after she'd lost 5 years' worth of memories, and Agent Sarah Walker had just completed a mission in Paris. The city of love, or so she was told. Her mission was simple, and Beckman rewarded her with an extra day in the city before receiving her next orders. It was a nice night, so she decided to go out and enjoy the city.

She found a quaint little café and ordered a latté and pain au chocolat and enjoyed the open air on the terrace. She soon felt the familiar yet strange sensation of a memory swimming just under the surface of her recollection. She knew that she had been to Paris numerous times, and it was likely that she had probably had an op there with Chuck in the 5 years of them working together. She was getting frustrated with herself, knowing that all of the lost memories were just out of her reach. As always, this memory stayed hidden, and Sarah left the café to walk the Parisian streets.

Paris was a lovely city, and was more beautiful at night than day. She walked along the Seine and enjoyed watching the people who were out. The phantom memories were getting stronger and stronger until she reached an old cobblestone bridge. It was like dozens of others in the city, but when Sarah walked across this certain one and peered over the side into the river, she jumped back like she had been shocked. Although slightly fuzzy, she remembered Shaw holding a gun to her head; then she recalled Chuck shooting Shaw and pulling her into his arms. She also remembered waking up in a hotel room with Chuck and thoroughly enjoying a few extra days in Paris, against Beckman's orders.

She was completely shocked. This was the first memory she was able to recover, and it was one hell of a first. She was confused, exhilarated, and worried all once, so she called it a night and returned to her hotel room.

It was a little over two years after Sarah had lost her memories, and other than the memory in Paris, none of her memories had been regained. Her current mission involved her undercover in a hospital in London as a candy striper. Not exactly her cup of tea, but she would do it.

As she walked through the cold hallways, she took in the sights. There were little kids with pale faces or casted limbs, exhausted looking parents, and grandparents with a constant stream of flowers for family and friends. And once again, the familiar buzzing of a memory came over the agent. Surely she had needed to visit a hospital during her work with Chuck. It was a dangerous line of work. She wondered why she had needed a hospital, and how many times she had been there. Usually, she was wary of hospitals, and thought they were cold, sterile places. Whatever this memory was, it caused her to feel a little warmer and more comfortable in the hospital.

Throughout the day, she saw several people come and go, and she worked to complete her mission. She was about to move to follow her target when she was hit by a memory. She had been in a hospital with Chuck, waiting for Ellie to have the baby, sitting on a bench in the hallway. He got down on one knee and proposed, and she had said yes. Between he engagement and the birth of the baby, she wasn't sure she had ever felt happier than that day.

Sarah had doubted that she could fall in love with the man she was assigned to, but the few memories that were coming back we're starting to make it seem more and more believable.

A few months after the hospital mission, Sarah was working to find and defuse a bomb in a high-end Swiss hotel. After taking care of the enemy agents, she had tracked down the bomb. It was in a large crate in a storage room below the dining room, placed expertly to take out the intended targets. Sarah was alone on this mission, and instantly wished for a partner to help her take out the bomb. She searched for a crowbar to open the crate holding the bomb, and found two. Once again, she was hit with another memory from her partnership with Chuck.

She found the bomb, and threw Chuck a crowbar to help her open it up. Once opened, the bomb displayed far too little time to defuse it in, though she was going to try anyway. Chuck was unable to flash, and wouldn't obey her orders to leave for his safety. With a few seconds left, she gave up, and, assuming that it was going to be the end of both of them, took his face in her hands and kissed him like it was the last thing she would ever do. She poured her desperation and untold feelings for him into the kiss, until she realized that the bomb was faulty and regretfully pulled away. He had kissed her with the same emotions and passion she had kissed him with, and it scared her a little.

Stunned wasn't a strong enough word to describe Sarah's reaction to this memory, but she tried to pull her composure together and finish her task at hand. Thankfully this bomb was simple and had plenty of time left on its fuse, and she dismantled it quickly. She told herself to shake off the memories that were coming back and focus on her work. Easier said than done.

On a rare night off, Sarah was enjoying herself in a Brazilian nightclub. She told herself that she was still married, but then countered her own argument with the fact that she hadn't spoken to her husband in almost three years. She had been working hard for a long time, with no breaks between missions, so she allowed herself a little fun and freedom in the club.

The club had provided live music for the night, and the club was alive. Sarah danced her way toward the front of the crowd, turning some heads and making herself feel pretty good. As soon as she saw the band's guitarist, she froze. Another memory washed over her.

Chuck had wanted to be a "real" spy, so he had been tasked his red test. Sarah never would've dreamed that Chuck would go through with it, but the target ended up dead. She was so upset and confused about how Chuck, the epitome of innocence, could change so much to kill someone. Then Casey had shown up at her doorstep and told her that he had killed the man, not Chuck, and she had never felt so relieved. She went to visit Chuck and found him hungover, clutching that plastic guitar. He had rambled on, and she had told him she loved him.

Sarah was confused. She had never told anyone that, ever. She had always pictured herself as a lone wolf for the entirety of her life. The more these memories came back, the more she realized that she was wrong, and that she had truly been in love with Chuck Bartowski.

Her next op was in Moscow, and it was cold. She had spent plenty of time in the city over the years, and it never got any warmer. As she got dressed for the mission, she vaguely recalled wearing a short black wig for an extended period of time in Moscow, but she shrugged it off. Typical mission stuff.

As time went on, and the mission progressed, Sarah heard snippets about Volkoff, whoever that was. From what she could gather, Volkoff had been an important man with a huge industry, and then the industry just stopped. Weird, and the name sounded familiar, but she thought nothing of it.

She had been in Moscow for nearly a month when she heard a heavily accented man call her name. Confused and worried, she took in his face and responded hesitantly. He looked familiar, but with five years of memories gone, she didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing that she recognized the man.

The man informed her that he was Mr. Volkoff, and that was when she remembered the undercover mission, weeks of trying to take down Volkoff Industries with Chuck's mom.

There was no way she would've done that dangerous and extensive of an op without a damn good reason, and she knew that it was for Chuck. It was getting harder to deny that she had loved him, and she was beginning to think that she was still in love with him now.

It was her third year of spending holidays alone and she was on assignment in Prague. When Beckman had informed her that she would be going to Prague, Sarah's heart dropped a little, and she had no idea as to why.

She had tracked down her target to a train station in the city, and was moments away from taking him into custody when a memory stopped her in her tracks.

She was trying to convince Chuck to run away with her. They had planned to meet in Prague and go off the grid together. Chuck was having one of his crisis of faith moments, and chose to become a spy instead of having an uninterrupted life with her. She had been so devastated and felt the same way when she now. She couldn't stand it anymore. She knew she loved Chuck at one point, and she knew the pain that she was experiencing without him.

She needed to find him.

She told Beckman that she was taking a leave of absence, and the woman asked no questions but gave her a one-way plane ticket to Burbank.

By the time she got off the plane on Christmas Eve, she was an emotional wreck. The entire plane ride, she had been plagued with memories of her and Chuck: them running away together, the jealousy she had felt when Jill came around, choosing a wedding dress in Castle, thinking she was pregnant, starting Carmichael Industries. The memories were coming in waves, and she was drowning in her emotions.

It was late at night by the time she caught a cab from the airport to Chuck's house, and when she got there, no lights were on. Her heart dropped. Did he even live here? Had he moved on? Three and a half years was plenty long to have moved on and started a family. She wasn't sure she could handle that.

She walked up to his door, knocked, and was met with silence. No lights, no answer at the door, nothing. She was devastated. She sat down on the fountain and cried. Sarah Walker didn't cry, and yet here she was, an emotional wreck. She didn't even realize the door to Ellie and Awesome's house had opened.

"Hello?" One very sleepy, confused Chuck Bartowski called out. She was speechless. She had had an entire plane ride to come up with something to say to him, and now when it mattered most, she had no words.

"Chuck," was all she could manage to whisper. Dumbfounded, he was frozen in place. She went to him instead.

"Chuck, it's me. Sarah. Your Sarah." And that was all it took. He kissed her much like their very first kiss, but with more passion, and this time, heartache. She noticed that he tasted just the same as the last time she'd kissed him, and in that little observation, she found comfort. When he finally pulled away, she took in the sight of him. His hair was longer, and his face scruffier than normal. But it didn't matter. She was home.


End file.
